"80% of kids who grew up in the church will walk away from it in college."
It's a statistic that is endlessly drilled into the heads of those church kids during middle school and high school. It's usually the precursor to a lesson on apologetics, in an attempt to show us why this is 100% real and it would be foolish to walk away from.
Don't get me wrong. I love apologetics. I love learning how to defend the faith that I believe in so deeply. Most of all, I love Jesus with my whole being.
We assume that 80% walks away from the church because they begin to doubt the authenticity of Jesus. We assume that the 80% has suddenly begun to believe everything that a university teaches on an academic level. We assume that they have completely forsaken everything they've grown up with in favor of a world of sex, drugs, parties, or for unfounded theories and circular philosophies.
Certainly, some do. But what if some of the 80% has not rejected the church not because of these reasons, but because they have finally removed the rose colored glasses of the upper middle class white church and seen the world for what it truly is? What if they leave because the more they get to know Jesus, the less they see of him in religion?
"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:35
Living in the Bible belt, there are not many people who have truly never heard of Jesus. There's a church on every street corner, and while by no means does that mean that everyone in the area is a Christian, it does help the general public at least be exposed to the idea of God, Jesus, and Christianity. Most around here know the basic "rules" of church. Don't lie, don't steal, don't curse, don't murder anyone, and for the love of God, don't be "a homosexual" (as so many "Christians" so eloquently phrase that lifestyle.) Follow these rules and you're sure to get a pass into those pearly gates, if they even exist.
But how many know that those "rules" are in fact not rules at all? How many of them know that the sanctuary is not a courtroom?
How many of them know that no matter what they have done or are doing, that they are so unconditionally loved?
How many of them have experienced unconditional love from a "Christian"?
No matter their color.
No matter their race.
No matter their gender or gender identity.
No matter who they love.
No matter what their abilities are.
No matter what their diagnosis.
No matter what their immigration status.
No matter what political party the align themselves with.
No matter what they have done.
No matter what they are doing now.
No matter.
"For God so loved the world"
"There is nothing in all creation that can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord"
"Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love"
We pride ourselves on worshiping the God of love. "It's a relationship, not a religion!" we love to tell anyone who is hesitant to get involved with religion.
Why is it, then, that the love of God is nowhere to be found among His people?
How can we profess our love for God, but silently (or outwardly) judge anyone who does not fit our cookie cutter Christian life?
My heart is broken today. The reason is twofold.
My heart is breaking for my friends. The ones I have class with. The ones I work with, the ones I pass in the halls and make small talk with. My heart is broken for my teachers, my supervisors, my academic mentors.
My heart is breaking for them because they have been so hurt by my people. They have been so deeply wounded by Christians. Some of them are part of that 80% that walked away from church because they could not reconcile the idea of such hateful people being the product of a loving God. And before you begin to judge the "Christians" that caused them to feel that way, let me tell you that I've heard this story from people from all kinds of churches and denominations...including my own church and denomination.
These people whom I love more than life itself are hurting so deeply. How many times, oh Christian, have you said "I can't imagine going through (insert situation) without God! He's been my rock!"
Well, my loved ones are going through the same situations you are. And because of the church, they do not have God to guide them through it the way you do. In fact, the church has just added insult to injury by judging them or telling them that they were not good enough, whether explicitly or implicitly.
My heart is also broken for the Christians who are causing this hurt to the world.
I know that they love God. I know that they are well intentioned in their crusades. But my heart is broken for them because they have never truly experienced the depths of the love of Jesus.
Just as "hurt people, hurt people," loved people love people. 1 John 4:8 says that "Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love." When you truly understand the depth of your sin and the even deeper love of God, there is suddenly no place for any kind of judgement, because you realize we are all on the same boat which is speeding towards an eternity of separation from God. You realize that you are just as filthy, broken, and destitute as anyone else, but that because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive in Christ- it is by grace you have been saved (Ephesians 2:4-5.)
When you truly have tasted and seen that God is good (Psalm 38:4), you cannot help but let that love overflow to all around you. Your are so filled to the brim with the love of God that your cup overflows (Psalm 23:5.) You begin to see others with the eyes of God, with endless love and a desire that they too might experience this rich love of God no matter who they are or what they've done. Since there is nothing in all creation that can separate us from the love of God (Romans 8:39) that includes ourselves and our sins and others and their sins. There is nothing too big for God. When you have truly experienced God, you embrace this. Your heart bleeds for those who have not experienced this everlasting love, peace, and joy.
I think we need to give Christian college students a little more credit. For those of us who grew up in a Christian bubble, college is a little bit of a shock. There are definitely some who throw away everything they grew up with to fully embrace the college life. But there are definitely some who begin one of the loneliest journeys of their lives. They aren't part of the "same old, same old" Christian college students who attend church every Sunday and maybe show up to the on campus Bible study every Thursday if they don't have anything better to do. But they also aren't part of the partying, sex crazed, superficial life of most other students. They're falling more and more madly in love with Jesus by the day, but struggle to find a community that truly loves like they have been loved. So maybe some of that 80% is a small group of young adults who just want to know what it truly means to follow Jesus, the real Jesus, not the American construct of fear driven church that worships a God who looks oddly like ourselves.
So today, I hurt. And I pray to the God of love, that he might touch "sinner" and "righteous" both, that he might reach down to all of these people I love so deeply- the ones inside the whitewashed walls of the church and the ones in the sin ridden world. I know that as deeply as I love them all, God loves them infinitely more than I ever could- I just pray that they will truly experience this love.
