Blurring the Lines

*wipes dust off page* I'm ba--ack! For now. 



I feel bad for people who are different, but not in the way you might think.

Today as I was leaving school, I was walking down the hall with a friend. We were discussing how long and exhausting the week had been and how thankful we were that it was finally Friday. We had parked in different lots, so we parted ways, and as I turned to walk away I saw a man out of the corner of my eye approach my friend and ask her if she needed help. She politely refused. I chuckled sadly and shook my head. "Poor ____". I thought. I knew that my friend was perfectly capable of getting herself from the atrium to where her ride was waiting outside to pick her up, but the well intentioned gentlemen couldn't see past the canes she uses to get around. It was sweet of him to offer his assistance, but it was completely unnecessary for my friend. She's an independent adult who happens to use canes, and if that limits her from doing something, then she'll ask for help.

What the world sees as "difference" is my everyday normal. Let's start with my family- we're definitely not your 2.5 child, Caucasian, upper middle class family. 10 people, 3 countries, and a rainbow of colors. Biological and adopted. Even in the adoption world, we're a little bit odd- 3 separate adoptions, 6 kids, international and domestic, yet no foster care or private infant adoption. I've grown up with "different" in my family, and it was and is the most normal part of my life.

I'm an American Sign Language/Deaf Interpretation major. Which means? More of the what the world views as "different" is my literal everyday norm. You wouldn't believe how many students are turning their heads backwards to stare at me and my friend having a conversation in ASL. (Interestingly enough, nobody bats an eye when two people are voicing a language other than English. It's completely normal to walk right on by as two people have a heated debate in Hindi in the hallway, but walking by the ASL lab requires ALL THE STARES). And don't get me started about when a hearing kids accidentally wanders into the lab asking for directions- it's hysterical. (Fun fact- created a signed number story about that last semester. HA) No, the staring doesn't bother me. But it's just a reminder that while it's "normal" for me to be conversing in a visual language everyday, and for some of my good friends, coworkers, and teachers to be Deaf and proud of it, it is different for most people. I tell them that my teachers are Deaf, and they give me this incredulous look. "HOW in the WORLD does that even WORK?!"

...last time I checked, "Deaf" doesn't mean "idiot".

(at least we can make fun of them in front of their faces)

Which brings us to our next topic. "Disability". Such an interesting word. "Dis"- according to dictionary.com, 

"a Latin prefix meaning “apart,” “asunder,” “away,” “utterly,” or having a privative, negative, or reversing force"

Apart from ability. Ability gone asunder. 

Sorry. No. in ASL, WRONG YOU.

My goal is to become a pediatric occupational therapist who specializes in sensory integration therapy. 

That's a lot of big words that essentially means, "I want to be paid to play with kids with 'disabilities' and help them reach their full potential and become comfortable with the world around them that is taken in by their five senses." (If you're interested, read more here)

So yes, "disability" will be a part of my everyday. More than anything, I want to adopt kids with a variety of special needs. "Different" is why I'm paying to spend six valuable years of my life in a classroom. Do you want to know why?

I love it.

I love different.

I love you being you and me being me.

I love seeing people love who they are.

I love seeing people begin to realize that "different" is the most beautiful thing in the world.

I'm not a Lady Gaga fan, but she hit the nail on the head with this one:

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way, born this way

Difference is my past, my present, and my future. 

And I wouldn't change it for the world. I see so many people afraid of difference. The funny thing is, everyone seems to think that everything that they are is "normal". But even amongst the most "normal" people by society's standards, their lives look nothing alike! Because, as we learned from every Sesame Street and Barney the Dinosaurs episodes at age 2, EVERYONE is different, and world is a better place for it. I wholeheartedly believe that the concept of "normal" is absolutely ridiculous and illogical. Essentially, normal does not exist other than a state of mind, not to get all weirdly psychedelic and/or philosophical on you. But truly, who gets to define "normal"? If everyone is different, how does the concept of "normal" even make sense?

I feel bad for people the world views as different, not because I feel they need my pity or are lacking something. Not at all. I feel bad for my friends and family with visible difference because the "normal people" are notorious for having deep misconceptions about them. They get unfairly labeled before people take the time to get to know them.

But you know what?

More than that, I feel bad for the people who fear difference.

They are missing out.

If you're the kind of person who is comfortable in your bubble and only run with "your type", whatever that may be- if all of your friends seem to look a lot like you, whether physical or in terms of lifestyle, 

YOU ARE MISSING OUT.

Diversity is awesome. It is beautiful, frustrating, interesting, and takes some learning and growing. It is inexplicable wonderful to be part of multiple worlds. 

And the curious thing is, the more you stretch yourself and learn to live in a beatifuly diverse world, the more you realize

really,

on the inside,

where it counts,

we're all the same.


We all have the same need for love and community. We all have dreams, fears, hopes, and insecurities. We all want to be known for who we really are. We're all a little afraid to open up our worlds to include people who are different than us.

But once we take that step, a whole new colorful world is open and available to us, and there is nothing better.

I challenge you to do two things. First, in the words of St. Catherine of Sienna, "Be who you were created to be, and you will set the world on fire." 
Stop striving for normal. You'll never get there, because it's not real. But what is real is YOU. You are real, you are amazing, and you were created to do great things.

Secondly, take that scary step and include a little difference in your life! Make a new friend :) Whether that is a different color, religion, ability, culture, or whatever else, I promise your life will be richer because of it!